Card of the Month - April 2010

Design 1104w


"Stolen from You"

Designed by Jeanette Broekman and Megan Whittington (Adoptees)
Inspired by Patricia Clarke. (dec.05 - Natural Mother to Jeanette)

Artwork: Jeanette Broekman

Design 1104w is available in the above design, as well as a design that includes the Natural Father in the imagery. Depending on your circumstances, both cards have an identical message, and the meaning interpreted below can be applied to both designs. For the purpose of this card review, I will concentrate on the above design.

Design 1104w was created to acknowledge natural mothers who lost their child to the adoption process, a process which is now being recognised by various Australian State Departments, and some hospitals as the White Stolen Generation of Australia.

It is believed by many that the Government of Australia will deliver a Public Apology for past practices of Adoption, illegal and otherwise to the women, children and families whose lives have been traumatised by the Adoption Act. It is hoped that the apology will be delivered in the latter part of 2010.

History will show that it was not a period of so called "unwanted babies" but more accurately, it was a generation of "unwanted mothers". A system where, when a woman was "unmarried" and vulnerable with no family support, she met the criteria to be entered into this system of Adoption and she was now referred to as a "relinquishing mother".

It is commonly reported that the Natural Mother felt as though she was given no choice. There were no alternatives given to her that would support her keeping her baby.

The Natural Mother was judged for wanting to keep her baby, and was judged on the belief at the time that she "gave away" her baby. This was a system that took no responsibility for its actions. A system that denied her the support and love of her family by promoting them to feel "shamed by their daughter's actions" a system that said "this is for the best" - "think of the child", "if you love your child, you will give it away, to people who can give your child everything", "don't you want your child to have everything dear?, everything that's important", "one day, when your married, you can have a child of your own" ......."You will forget about this, and move on with your life".

For many Natural Mothers, this trauma has been a part of their lives, hidden in a deep and dark secret place. Not to be talked about, but to be forgotten about. No Mother forgets that she has had a child, however the tactics used at the time, gave the Natural Mother no outlet, and often caused her to "split off" from herself in order to cope.

These women were subjected to many forms of abuse whilst being incarcerated in "homes for single mothers" which was not unlike being in prison. Days were spent cleaning and cooking right up until the time the baby was born. Once in the hospital, the young mother was further abused by being drugged, bullied and made to feel unfit and worthless. Often, she was unable to see, touch, hold or feed her baby which was illegal. It was also common practice to deny the mother ever laying her eyes on her baby, or knowing the sex of her baby.
She was lied to, tricked, and given misleading information all in an attempt to take her baby from her, without her being empowered to do anything about it.

Mothers today are speaking out about this abuse, and the acknowledgement that they deserve for the lifetime of heartache and trauma, the suffering and all the years lost. One of the biggest struggles for Mothers is the public idea that they willingly gave their child away. So often, the adoptee thinks and feels as though they were not wanted. This is far from the truth, and Mothers around the world are saying - I did not give you away, you were stolen from me.

This card aims to be a vehicle for the Adoptee to share with their Natural Mother, that they understand the social issues surrounding the time of their birth, and that they return with love and understanding.
The image on the front of this card is a Mother, gripping onto her broken heart, her heart has been frozen in time, and cast in stone, the pain is to much to endure. She stands bent over, and head bowed. The crib is empty. She looks forever down at the emptiness and is de-compartmentalised until her baby returns.
Inside the card reads - returning to you with love and understanding.

For the Natural Mother, this information is vital, and a much needed lifeline. To know that their child understands is a great source of comfort and inner peace, a step toward healing.
This card represents an important stage in the process of reunion, and can assist the Natural Mother to express her feelings to her child and vice versa.

For adoptees, it is a major transition to go from "unwated baby" to "stolen baby" and neither of these "titles" brings any joy. It is a frustrating bewildering space for the adoptee, causing them immense trauma and anger.
In order for adoptees to recognise the difference of the two abovementioned titles, governments play a role in the education of the public and the issues surrounding the Adoption Act, and why adoption was utilised and seen as a solution to "single Motherhood".

In support of Natural Mother's, this card can be sent at any time the Adoptee feels that they want to express the sentiments of this card.

It can be sent prior to a reunion, early reunion or later when a relationship has been formed and tested. Mother's Day, Father's Day, any day.

This card is typically sent by the adoptee to the Natural Mother. Also available is the same card, that includes imagery on the front of the card of the Natural Mother and Natural Father. A very meaningful and powerful message to convey, which is of great significance to all involved.
This design is available as:

Greeting Card - view card in full with option to purchase

Design 1104w - Stolen from You.  $4.95au
Art Work - view artwork and available formats

Printed Reproductions on Canvas, Vinyl, Photo, Poster mounted and unmounted.